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Astrology

 

A note from Musa Luna:

It is nearly common knowledge these days that in early 2011 some pesky astronomers came to the conclusion that there is in fact a 13th Zodiac sign. This news has upset many people, and many a tramp stamp has been reconsidered because the you who you thought you are is not you at all. Your sign has altered by about a month. Don’t blame me if you are not a sexy sign anymore and don’t blame me for your new Leo standing on things.

The new sign is Ophiuchus (pronounced ‘off-ee-YOO-kuss’), the Serpent Bearer. He is supposed to have been, among other things, a figure of strength. It is time to let him play in the reindeer games of astrological charting. Welcome.

Along with each sign, we have included both the ‘traditional’ dates and the ‘post-Ophiuchus’ or ‘updated’ dates. The traditional dates are listed first.


Horoscope written by Musa Luna, for the week of March 25, 2012.

Aries (March 21-April 19…..April 18-May 13)
Joy will continue to bubble up to the surface this week. You will feel more comfortable being at the head of the pack towards the weekend. The anxiety at the start of this week is only preening you for your leading role. There will be plenty of time to doubt yourself next week. Leave that up to Virgo.
 
Taurus (April 20-May 20…..May 13-June 21)
Get a grip. It is becoming clear that you are going to need some sort of a cowboy figure to wrangle you. It will be a rough ride and don’t drag that person through your feces for too long. Unlike the stereotypical rough type cowboy, this person will have a gentle touch. Do not downgrade the force at which this gentle power will be unleashed. Keep your mouth shut and do not unleash your fury onto social media platforms. Seriously.
 
Gemini (May 21-June 20…..June 21-July 20)
You continue to be that “FAIL”. There are still people flocking to take your lead, but you are far from being a good tour guide. Go on and cruise those folks across the Styx, boney hands. People are blind to the doom, keep on smiling. Settle into this uncomfortable role, you know, the blind leading the blind. You should consider squashing your toes into smaller shoe sizes. You might trip over your own feet less.
 
Cancer (June 21-July 22…..July 20-Aug 10)
You are glowing. There is a total convergence of energies surrounding you. There is so much that it is difficult to pinpoint if you are the source or vice versa. Cancer, now is the time for cleansing. Now is the time for detox or for sweating it out. Make an effort to communicate with others constantly. There is a light in you that people need. They will not seek it out themselves. You need to spark that flame.
 
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22…..Aug. 10-Sept. 16)

April is looking really sad for you, dude.
*note from Musa Luna’s attorney Sir Rev. Powers III. “Musa WILL NOT edit her own profanity. This will be the sole responsibility of the lucky publication or website that features the lovely Ms. Luna. By reading this you waive all legal action regarding poor editing for lazy proofreading.”
 
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22…..Sept. 16-Oct. 30)
Finally starting to chill out? If it isn’t clear by midweek that your priorities have drastically changed then you’re a fool. For weeks you have been insecure and those feelings have diluted any joy that you might have received from a loved one. This is sad. Your insecurities will only intensify this week. No Virgo, you have not started to chill out. Not in the slightest. Jerk.
 
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22…..Oct. 30-Nov. 23)
Ok, “challenge your patience” was an understatement. Send complaints to Jay, but he may attach your correspondence with a stock monkey photo. Try not to grind your teeth to bits. Choose your battles carefully. Hang in there. This is no time to impose yourself. You need this frustration for coming events.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21…..Nov. 23-29)
What is this? Is that you, Scorpio? Yes, this is what the light of day looks like. Welcome back to humanity. Take things easy, you don’t want to give yourself the bends. All of that time to yourself will pay off as people begin to seek you out. Much like your gradual reintroduction to the world, people around you are slowly realizing that you are the person that they need. Your role will only intensify as the week rolls on.
 
Ophiuchus (Nov. 29-Dec. 17)
Keep with that positive energy. There is little that can stop you right now. Make use of this energy while it is around this week, but more importantly make something physical. Paint, knit, bake a cake, or complete whatever it was that you were going to post on Etsy. Make something that people can feel. Those good vibes will radiate through the objects that you create.
 
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21…..Dec. 17-Jan. 20)
You continue to be the victim this week but you are the main violator. It will become increasingly difficult to convince yourself that you are not the sad violin that you have been feeling yourself as. Get over it. The “whoa is me” bull is most unlike you. Stay away from male cattle types for sure.
 
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19…..Jan. 20-Feb. 16)
Your heart is on fire. There is no time to sit around and waste time. Turn off the television, turn down the radio, put down that book, and stop procrastinating because your heart is telling you something that your mind wants to deny. This week you will find yourself trying to numb these intense feelings. Your energies this week are best distributed without words.
 
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18…..Feb. 16-March 11)
There are few things to tell you this week. You are like a beacon of truth. Continue on this path. In no time, not only will you feel that your environment is in harmony, but you will also gain the sense that if you line things up a certain way people will respond in your favor. Continue sorting. Do not abuse the fact that you are in a position to manipulate people.
 
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20…..March 11-April 18)
There is something inside you that needs to burst out. It is time to execute your dreams. Throw your preconceptions away. Everything that you have built up in your head until now is only a template for the originality that is percolating inside of you. It is time to write with the broken pencil or the typewriter that lacks S’s and T’s.

Horoscope for the week of March 18, 2012
Horoscope for the week of March 11, 2012

A basic astrology birth chart reading is available through email or personal meeting if you are located in Fairbanks. The reading focuses on the basics and the price is probably less than you can find anywhere in the area. $25 for a half hour basic analysis performed by either a man or woman upon your request. Astrology inquiries can be sent to articles@fairbanksirl.com. It can be amazing how much you can learn about yourself from a simple reading, which can provide material for days or years of pondering.