ALASKA — I would venture to guess that most dog owners haven’t thought through the contingency of having to perform C.P.R. on their dog within seconds of it suddenly collapsing, let alone having to do so in freezing temperatures, miles from any help, and without the aid of a motor vehicle – but that is precisely the situation that an Anchorage musher found himself in last Monday evening (3/5).
According to the Anchorage Daily News, musher Scott Janssen was a little over a day into his 2nd Iditarod when he found himself sobbing over one of his older huskies after it had suddenly collapsed, several miles from the nearest checkpoint. Mr. Janssen reacted quickly, utilizing a technique he had learned from veteran musher Paul Gebhardt, and was eventually able to revive the dog.
After tucking the dog’s tongue back into his mouth and holding his mouth shut, “I had my mouth over his nose, breathing into his nose as I was compressing and rubbing his chest, trying to work the air out,” Janssen said.
Janssen continued this process for what was probably about 5 minutes, though he said it seemed like an eternity, and ‘Marshall’ finally came to with a grunt.
“I really love that dog…I was sobbing…I’m like, c’mon dude, please come back.”
Scott Janssen & an unidentified dog on an unknown date - (AP Photo/Mark Thiessen)
“And he did.”
Here I should note that Janssen’s ‘day job’ is owning and operating an Anchorage funeral home (for over 20 years now), a profession that has earned him the nickname, ‘the Mushing Mortician’, which he has referred to himself as for some time now…I’ll leave it at that.
Anyway, Janssen loaded Marshall into the sled and safely made it to the next checkpoint, Rohn, despite breaking a runner on the way. Marshall was checked out by the vets there and seemed to be just fine. By the next morning, Marshall “[was] standing around, bummed-out that he wasn’t going with us,” Janssen said.
Marshall was eventually flown home to Anchorage the next day and Janssen continued on with the remainder of his team. (As of press time, he was ranked in 39th place, of the 54 remaning teams of the original 66…)
If you want to learn more about performing C.P.R. on non-human animals, you can start by visiting HERE. I also recommend learning how to perform the non-human version of the Heimlich maneuver while you’re at it, especially if your dog is as stupid about eating inedibles as mine is. You can learn about it HERE.
Non-consensual interspeciel CPR
And I suppose that I would be remiss if I didn’t also include links that instruct how to perform these life-saving techniques on human animals — so if you can imagine yourself ever being in a situation where you might actually want to save a human life, visit these sites and pay attention: Human CPR & Heimlich for humans…
Lastly, if the above methods don’t end up working for you and you find yourself in need of the sort of counseling and service that funeral homes provide, why not give Scott ‘the Mushing Mortician’ Janssen a holler at Janssen Funeral Homes? (I assume that they only take on human clients, however.)
OTHER ARTICLES THAT MIGHT BE OF INTEREST:
– Why does this cat hate you and all of your relatives?
— If we Alaskans are so happy, why then are we so suicidal?
— Rep. Don Young’s ever so gentle definition of ‘environmentalists’
— ‘…stop thinking that people don’t view you as a jerk.’ - is this your horoscope?
— Results from last week’s poll & an update on the Eielson situation
— If Elvis’ supposed brother has orangutan blood coursing through his veins, is secretly the head of the C.I.A., and shares a lawyer w/George W. Bush, then what was (is!) coursing through Elvis’ veins…?
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